Bar: Howie’s Sports Page (sign on Montgomery says: “Howie’s Sports Bar”)
Address: 12500 Montgomery Blvd NE # 133
Howie’s wasn’t originally on our list, because we aren’t looking for sports bars, but somebody in Molly’s told us it was the darkest damn bar they had ever been in, so of course we had to go. Howie’s is dark, really dark. Probably because the windows are completely blocked off and they don’t use the lights. The only source of light in here seem to be the TVs, which were surprisingly not overbearing given it is a sports bar, and beer signs. I think all the light at our table came from a beer sign.
The walls are covered with sports themed photos, and they managed to find some sports content for half the TVs even though it was 4:00 on a weekday. The volume was low, and other than a few ear bleeding moments where a group of screechy children sang the national anthem, the sound level in here was okay. I imagine it’s an entirely different story on a Sunday afternoon or Lobo game day. But despite the sports bar feel the place definitely has most of the required dive elements. Dark, cheap, quiet, pool and darts. I almost gave a failing score on the bathroom, which was baldly plain but functional, until my finger got wedged between the stall door and the asswipe dispenser because somebody didn’t think to leave more than a quarter inch clearance. I think I left some skin behind there.
The score? Howie’s manages a NINE if we count the garden gnome on the microwave. Perhaps we need a sub category, like “sports dive”.
|Cheap drinks||Just qualifies with $3 Bud and Bud light during happy hour|
|PBR||Yes, but it cost us four bucks|
|Floor irregularities||Nope, the carpet had some stains but it was all in good shape|
|Dark||It’s almost too dark in here|
|Bathroom deficiencies||Watch your fingers|
|Forbidden Fru Fru Drinks||Basic bar stock|
|Regulars||They might have all been regulars|
|Quiet||Plenty of quiet|
|Questionable décor||Dave says we have to count the gnome|